STEVEN GERRARD V ROY OF THE ROVERS

ROY Race and Steven Gerrard - both heroes capable of single-handedly changing the fortunes of their teams with unlikely last-minute winners...and both cartoons.

Yep, both cartoons.

Adidas has turned Stevie into a comic strip for a new marketing campaign. In it Zinedine Zidane tells us the ever-so-slightly-exaggerated tale of the boy from Huyton...oh, and they might zoom in on some boots, too.

Weird, but the animations are brilliant...

LIVERPOOL'S HULL HAMMERING SHOWS MICHAEL'S TALKING BALLACKS

IT MIGHT "only" be Hull - but Rafa Benitez couldn't have dreamt this one any better.

With doubts about the ability of sides managed by the Spaniard to break down the lesser sides still lingering, the Reds took to the field against Phil Brown's men with the critics still chanting the mantra about last season's glut of draws.

The Tigers were one of the teams responsible for denying Liverpool No.19 last season but there was no chance of them escaping with a draw this time - not with Fernando Torres in this form.

El Nino has rightly hogged the headlines this weekend after his hat-trick of superb finishes but he's not the only one that's got fans rubbing their hands together.

Yossi Benayoun's Peter Beardsley impression is improving by the week - all he needs to do now is say "obviously" a few times in interviews.

Seriously though, his new role ahead of Steven Gerrard against the sides that come to shut up shop at Anfield is proving to be another tactical masterstroke by Benitez.

Add that to the attacking wing play from our full backs and visiting defenders to L4 have got an awful lot on their plate this season - and that's without Alberto Aquilani and the forward runs of Daniel Agger to worry about.

So, so much for the so-called one-dimensional tactics line often trotted out by the anti-Benitez brigade.

Rafa might have been hampered in the transfer market but he's clearly been putting in the hours with the chalkboard.

Two minutes after half time on Saturday it was pretty much game over - just how Benitez would have wanted it.

With two tough trips next up - to Fiorentina and Chelsea - steamrollering Hull early on meant the key men could be wrapped up for the games ahead - so Gerrard, Benayoun and Torres were all given the hook.

Ryan Babel's recent good form continued when he came on for Torres and - no matter how he scored the second one - a couple of goals will do his confidence the world of good.

So that was that - six goals, the sixth win in a row and the best scoring start to a season for over 100 years by a Liverpool side.

Not bad for a club in crisis...

Now to ram Michael Ballack's words back down his throat. Wigan's deserved win against Chelsea has left us just three points behind the club that believe football started in 2003.

And Ballack, who before his side's visit to the DW Stadium mused that the title could be a two-horse race this season, may be looking up the league table at Liverpool seven days from now.

It's not often I'd consider quoting Tony Pulis. But the Stoke boss summed up it nicely after his side were swept aside 4-0 by the Reds last month:

 "They will be right up there fighting for it. Anyone who says anything else is crazy."

LIVERPOOL DO IT GOGGY STYLE BUT HACKS STILL ATTACK

COSH NGOG: David Ngog was the matchwinner against Leeds

IT'S a sad state of affairs that no-one seems able to dig out any kind of positive from Liverpool's Carling Cup win at Leeds.

Granted it wasn't a classic. But it was never going to be.

Rafa Benitez giving his fringe players a run with Hull in the Premier League and Fiorentina in the Champions League on the horizon was as predictable as Old Trafford added-on time is long.

Benitez's big four counterparts did exactly the same thing in their third-round ties.

Just as predictable was Leeds giving it their all and coming close to knocking us out. They might be in League One but they are top and flying and boast a superb home record - 15 wins on the spin before Liverpool came to town.

Spurred on by a sell-out 38,000 crowd and with the well-documented echoes of what once was ringing around the stadium, their players could hardly have had more motivation.

As it was a string of missed opportunities and a wrongly-ruled out goal cost Leeds any chance of a giant-killing. They were unlucky.

But instead a Liverpool team largely made up of players with next to no match time under their belts won the match.

Positive number one.

Then there was the quality finish from David Ngog - a 20-year-old player snapped up for £1.5million who has now scored five goals in six starts.

Ngog largely fed on scraps throughout the game and his goal, at best, was a half chance. But he took it in style. Exactly what a top-class striker should do. And exactly what the much talked about Jermaine Beckford, rated at £3million, should have done on more than one occasion for Leeds...but didn't.

So Ngog's performance is positive number two.

And how about Jay Spearing?

Making his fully-deserved debut for the Reds, the Wirral-born midfielder didn't put a foot wrong all night, doing just what he has done so many times for the reserves - providing assured passing, finding space and making a mockery of the doubters who say he is too small to be a professional.

So positive number three.

And yet report after report screams crisis - again. Call it lucky, unconvincing and so on - but why do so many reports fail to offer ANY crumb of comfort for Liverpool fans?

As a fan myself, if I read a report I expect some balance - not sniping no matter what. And as I've highlighted, there were positives to take from the match.

I'm not saying no-one should ever write a bad word about Liverpool - but why the blanket negativity?

Read my guest article at This is Anfield here

CAN RYAN BABEL BE THE NEXT LIVERPOOL PLAYER TO GO FROM FLOP TO TOP?

FIRST Dirk Kuyt, then Yossi Benayoun - is Ryan Babel the next to prove the doubters wrong?

I hope so. It's been a good week for the sulky Dutchman who has offered more in two cameo appearances as a substitute than he did for 67 minutes on the opening day at Spurs.

His cross for Fernando Torres' second goal against West Ham yesterday was superb and he looked lively coming off the bench against Debrecen, too.

When he's on form and firing, he looks the part. We just need to see it more often. Perhaps with Rafa Benitez dismissing talk of him going back to Ajax, he has (finally) decided to knuckle down.

As I said in my recent blog about Benayoun, hopefully he will serve as an example to Babel of how to win a place in the team.

Looking at the bigger picture, he's got to start shining soon or he's going to miss out on the World Cup.

Oddly, he's looked more comfortable coming down the right in his last two showings. Go with it I say, starting with the game at Leeds in the Carling Cup. That would be the perfect place for Babel to really show what he's capable of. Here's hoping.

It was good to see Torres back to his old self against the Hammers. His first goal was vintage El Nino with the trademark burst of pace that seems to have been missing back for all to see.

There were shades of his goal against Chelsea at Anfield when he tore Tal Ben Haim apart.

His header was class too, as was his all-round performance. Before the match at Upton Park he was scoring and doing OK but he cut a frustrated figure and his tricks just didn't seem to be coming off.

Hopefully now he is back to his best - handy with the Chelsea game not too far away.

Much has been made already of the goals we conceded at West Ham and there's no getting away from it, Jamie Carragher and Martin Skrtel looked shaky.

It was a very un-Carragher like display from Jamie, who looks to be struggling for form right now.

I'd back him all day to come out of his sticky patch, though - it's far too early in the day to be writing him off as many, amazingly, are.

The zonal marking debate has emerged again, too, but if you watch Carlton Cole's goal surely it is just a case of a huge beast of a man out-jumping a defender who is smaller than him? You can't win 'em all!

It was the same with one of the goals conceded to Aston Villa - Curtis Davies scored it and he must be at least 6ft 3ins.

Saying all that, I'm looking forward to the return of Daniel Agger. While I like Carra and Skrtel, they are both out and out defenders and don't offer too much going forward.

Agger is the closest thing we have got to Alan Hansen at the club and he can really influence the play on his day. He's good in the air, has got a great shot and is much more comfortable on the ball than his two rivals for a starting spot at centre half.

Hopefully he can do for us what Thomas Vermaelen is doing for Arsenal - what a goal that second one was against Wigan.

Anyway, it's Leeds next up and they will be no mugs in front of a sell-out crowd at Elland Road.

Hopefully Babel will use the game to keep up his recent improvement and other fringe men will seize their chance to shine.

"BRING BACK KELVIN MACKENZIE" FLIPPANT REMARK OR UNBELIEVABLE IGNORANCE?

I HATE Kelvin MacKenzie - a controversy courting, self-obsessed, horrible rat of a man responsible for one the worst examples of supposed journalism ever seen in the UK.

I speak of course of the Sun's 'Truth' article following the Hillsborough disaster, a disgraceful, unsubstantiated, hate-filled piece of drivel that piled on the hurt to families still feeling the raw pain of losing their loved ones in a disaster just days before.

The article rightly led to a boycott of the newspaper, which is still observed by thousands on Merseyside.

In 2004 the newspaper apologised for "the most terrible mistake" in its history.

MacKenzie, however, stands by his bile, stating at a business lunch in 2006: "I wasn't sorry then and I'm not sorry now because we told the truth."

Note the use of "we". And yet the story from The History of the Sun (Peter Chippendale and Chris Horrie) paints a very different picture:

As MacKenzie's layout was seen by more and more people, a collective shudder ran through the office [but] MacKenzie's dominance was so total there was nobody left in the organisation who could rein him in except Murdoch. [Everyone] seemed paralysed, "looking like rabbits in the headlights", as one hack described them. The error staring them in the face was too glaring. It obviously wasn't a silly mistake; nor was it a simple oversight. Nobody really had any comment on it, they just took one look and went away shaking their heads in wonder at the enormity of it. It was a "classic smear".

Amazingly this scummy man's career continues, as does his obvious hatred for Liverpool, Merseyside and Scousers.

Not only does the twisted oaf continue to write for the Sun, he is somehow regularly given air time on TV and radio.

A simple google search reveals his bent views are continuing to offend so I wouldn't expect anyone, in jest or otherwise, to suggest he is worthy of again holding the title of editor of a national newspaper again.

So imagine my surprise when this disgrace to the profession of journalism is mentioned in an article about the current editor of the Sun, an article which has the penultimate sentence: "Bring back Kelvin MacKenzie".

What publication would publish such a notion? The Journalist  - The National Union of Journalists magazine which goes out to all members.

You couldn't make it up. 

This is the man who once said: “When I published those stories, they were not lies. They were great stories that later turned out to be untrue - and that is different. What am I supposed to feel ashamed about?” 

Livid, I wrote to the editor of The Journalist. The reply? Well you couldn't make that up either...

--------------------------------------------------

The article in full from The Journalist, September/October 2009:

WHAT'S WRONG with showbiz writers like the Sun's Dominic Mohan becoming editors of national newspapers? He follows people like John Blake, Piers Morgan and Andy Coulson in the move from editing the Bizarre column to the paper itself.

Aside from the hardly needed confirmation of the Sun's devotion to mindless celebrity, there are three things wrong:

First is the way their journalism is produced: the celebrity industry is happily dependent on the whims of the stars and chicanery of their agents. Not a good model for news journalism.

Second is the fact that it makes the editor a celebrity. Showbiz columnists love to write about their own obsessively partying lives and to get themselves photographed looking all matey with the stars.

And third is the authority they wield with our rulers. Piers Morgan is constantly bragging about the access he enjoyed to Downing Street when Tony Blair would apparently drop whatever inconsequential matters he was engaged with to take his counsel.

I do not hold Prime Ministers in high regard but I do recognise they are busy people and I find the notion that they should have to give their coveted attention to these vain and prattling groupies rather unsettling, don't you?

Bring back Kelvin MacKenzie. He may be a boorish reactionary but his news values do at least relate to the real political world.

My email to The Journalist:

Dear Editor, I refer to the article in 'Gripe' on page 31 of your current issue with the headline 'Hey Prime Minister'. While I take the point about showbiz reporters becoming editors of national newspapers signalling a sign of a slip in standards of journalism, I am gobsmacked by the last paragraph advocating the return of Kelvin MacKenzie to the role of editor at The Sun. The article describes showbiz reporters' methods as "not a good model of news journalism". And Mackenzie's is? Should you need reminding he is the man responsible for The Sun's "The Truth" headline which accused Liverpool fans at the Hillsborough disaster in 1989 of urinating on police and robbing victims. It lost 200,000 sales in a week, its reputation on Merseyside and was condemned by the Press Complaints Commission. In July 2004, it tried to make amends by printing a full-page apology, describing its coverage of the disaster as "the most terrible mistake in its history". As for Mackenzie, he is still refusing to apologise to the families of the 96 people that died in the disaster. To call for the return of this man displays amazing ignorance and insensitivity. A simple google search can tell you all you need to know about him. Inexcusable. Gareth Roberts

Reply from The Journalist:

Tuesday, 15 September, 2009 4:50 PM

From: "Journalist"

To: "Gareth Roberts"

thanks neat letter - obviously it was not a serious proposal!

A LIVERPOOL LANDMARK - BUT NO LIVERPOOL LANDSLIDE

THERE have been many great nights at Anfield  - but Liverpool's 100th win in the European Cup wasn't one of them.

The Reds rarely hit top gear in Rafa Benitez's 300th game in charge but still cruised past Debrecen to get this season's Champions League campaign off to a winning start.

There were flashes of good play and with better finishing on the night a 4-0 scoreline would not have flattered Liverpool.

As it was it was 1-0, with Steven Gerrard and Yossi Benayoun both missing chances they would expect to convert, and Stevie also coming close to another blockbuster with a superb shot from outside the box that skimmed the top of the bar.

There was definitely a feeling of the Reds playing within themselves and, despite a couple of scares, you could never really see anything but a home win as the recent winning run was extended to three games.

Perhaps they are saving petrol for tougher tests to come but it would be nice for Liverpool to consistently show some drive, flow and purpose like at the end of last season.

Hopefully that's to come - there's certainly plenty of time to find rhythm, Alberto Aquilani is still to show us what he can do and let's not forget that Manchester United and Chelsea were far from convincing in their Champions League games.

Despite the hype, I can't help feeling that is partly due to the bubble, while not bursting, certainly starting to slowly deflate in terms of the current format of "Europe's premier club competition".

These early group games are too often a damp squib due to the format and seeding of the group stages.

There are many mismatches and the set up means clubs can afford one, even two defeats, and still progress to the lucrative, and ultimately much more exciting, knockout phases.

Add to that to the cost of the tickets (just shy of £40) and it was no surprise to see empty seats at Anfield tonight  - and a lacklustre atmosphere among the seats that were filled.

Still job done but, like the situation off the pitch, there is still room for improvement.

Everyone's got their own take on how things are panning out in the corridors of power at Liverpool -  I'm no different.

And I'm not being pulled in by the current surge in positivity emerging from the boardroom.

Yes, a £80million shirt sponsorship deal is a positive step. But a step is all it is. It does not change the situation regarding George Gillett and Tom Hicks.

They promised a stadium, there's no stadium. They have burdened the club with debt. And now, after all of a sudden speaking up about the "health" of the club's finances, they are scouring the world looking for a new investor. Well wasn't that their job, to invest?

And no matter how much spin there is from our new managing director, Christian Purslow about "enhanced" transfer budgets and the shirt deal "indirectly" improving the likelihood of a new stadium, the whole thing still stinks.

RECENT POSTS:

• Benayoun proves there's no substitute for persistence
• Michael Shields: At last, but something's not right
• Robbie Fowler: Toxteth Terror turns it on in Townsville
  

BENAYOUN PROVES THERE'S NO SUBSTITUTE FOR PERSISTENCE

ARRR YOSS: Benayoun's sublime finish to open the scoring against Burnley

IT'S a tag that fans love and players hate – super sub.

Supporters hail these cult heroes, men who spend their footballing lives lurking in the shadows, emerging to save an unthinkable point or, even better, to grab the unlikeliest of victories.

The football stars see it as a form of failure, proof they were never good enough to truly make the grade.

For 1970s legend David Fairclough the fight's over. After scoring 18 goals coming off the bench for Liverpool, it's his nickname for life, regardless of the fact his 61 appearances as a Reds substitute were eclipsed by his 92 Liverpool starts.

For Yosef Benayoun it's a different story - he can still do something about it. And thankfully, he is.

Ronny Rosenthal was another once on the payroll at Anfield to be branded a super sub and it seemed certain fellow Israeli Benayoun was destined to leave L4 having been posted in the same pigeon hole.

Just three months ago he was considering his future after various clubs, including Villareal, Atletico Madrid and West Ham, had shown an interest.

It would have been easy for the 29-year-old to shrug his shoulders and say goodbye.

Instead, he stayed, signed a two-year contract extension and told Rafa Benitez he was more than just an impact player from the bench.

Benitez said: 

"I was talking to Yossi about how he has always been fantastic coming off the bench and he told me he could do even more if I gave him a chance from the start. I always thought his quick feet and game intelligence could hurt opponents when they started to tire, but he has proved he can do it from the beginning."

Compare that to Ryan Babel, the Dutch "wonderkid" dubbed the new Thierry Henry who signed at the same time as Benayoun, July 2007.

While Benayoun has taken his chances when they have come along - Saturday's hat-trick in the stroll against Burnley was his third Liverpool treble, and his 11th goal in his last 23 appearances - Babel has preferred to take the spoilt brat approach.

While he did have a spell earlier in his Anfield career when he scored five goals coming off the bench, he has now turned into the Incredible Sulk, moaning about broken promises, pleading for a return home. Add that to body language that says 'I don't want to be here' every time he sets foot on the pitch and it's no wonder he wasn't even on the bench on Saturday.

And yet when the two of them arrived many, including myself, thought Babel would be the more successful of the two.

With the praise of Holland's finest ringing his ears, a big reputation, an even bigger fee and reported interest from a host of Europe's top clubs including Arsenal, Babel came to town with big promise.

And with a cannon of a shot, pace, power and skill, he looked to have all the attributes to succeed in the Premier League.

With Benayoun, I feared he would be too lightweight. And often he has been. But fair play he's proved me wrong - and on current form he looks a better bet than some of the players that get a sniff at our rivals - Ji Sung Park and Antonio Valencia for starters.

And while I'm obviously delighted at his current form and influence on the first team I'm also glad it's another player that can be crossed off the list of "flops" the next time Rafa Benitez is in the crosshairs of the snipers.

Now it's vital that Benayoun keeps up his Peter Beardsley-esque displays - and wouldn't it be nice if a few others from the fringes stepped up to the plate and won a match or two?

I'm talking about Babel, Andriy Voronin and even Albert Riera, who needs to turn in more nine or tens out of ten than the sixes or sevens he produces regularly.

Like Benayoun earlier in his Liverpool career, they need to improve, take their chances, adapt, stamp some authority on a game and show us some magic.

In fact, they could pin up this corker of a quote from Benayoun on their Melwood locker and take it from there:

"With the number of top players we've got, you accept you won't always be playing and that you have to give it everything when your chance comes along. But that's fine with me."

Exactly.

MICHAEL SHIELDS RELEASE: AT LAST, BUT SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT

SO, finally - after 1,563 days in custody - common sense has prevailed and Michael Shields has been released.

For any normal football fan it is a moment to rejoice, no matter what team you support.

It remains a travesty that it took so long to happen, almost inexplicable when you look at the evidence.

The Liverpool fan from Edge Hill has lost four years of his life while his family have been put through torture, not only by their son's situation, but by Government red tape and brain-dead morons who, amongst other things, burnt the family car and threatened to kidnap their daughter.

Let's hope the Shields family can now return to some kind of normality and Michael can get on with living his life - and supporting Liverpool FC.

Of course, that's not the end of it for the rest of the world - and question one is, when is Jack Straw going to give us a straight answer as to why it took so long?

His rhetoric so far just doesn't ring true.

Basically, he claims that in a meeting at the end of August, the family revealed for the first time that another man (you know who) admitted the attempted murder of Martin Georgiev to them - and in front of independent witnesses.

Apparently, this has taken four years to come to light - and as soon as it did Straw acted.

Anyone else think there's some bending of the truth along the way to suit the Government story?

Straw added: "I will not set out in this statement all the evidence that has come to light over the last two weeks but suffice it to say that there is very good reason to believe I was being told the truth. This in my view profoundly changed the credibility of the various accounts of what actually happened in this case."

Well the man in question has made a statement admitting the crime before - and through a solicitor.

But Straw, when quizzed by journalists about this today, stumbled his way through an unconvincing argument - banging on about some crucial facts being wrong and the situation under which that written confession was made.

It hardly set the record straight.

Then Straw claimed to be "astonished" when the Shields family told of the verbal confession which he says they "blurted out" in a meeting in his constituency in Blackburn two weeks ago.

The oral confession was said to have happened on 22 July 2005, a day after the start of Michael’s trial in Bulgaria.

So the Shields family had NEVER mentioned this to their legal team, their MP, the police in four years?

Surely they would have exhausted every possible angle, gone over every possible scenario to secure the release of their son?

It doesn't add up and, if Straw and co have cocked up, they should say so.

At least now Michael is free, that is the main thing.

But let's not now forget that there is another man that needs to be facing the Bulgarian courts. Georgiev deserves justice too.

Back to the start of this post, and I mentioned that Michael's release is a victory for any "normal" football fan.

Unfortunately, there's plenty of people around who appear far from normal.

I really don't understand what possesses people to turn Michael Shields' release into a reason to slag off Scousers.

And before people post it, yes, I'm aware Liverpool has it's own supporters who are far from normal, people who mock the Munich disaster and so on.

I don't understand them either.

But really, what is the thought process? What makes you want to post stuff like this?

The Times:

jem - wrote:
what? did he get six mates to admit it was them instead?
September 9, 2009 10:38 AM BST

BBC 606 site:

posted 36 Minutes Ago

scousers are always guilty of something

add comment | complain about this comment
comment by RYAN_SOLIHULL_BLUENOSE (U10890740)

posted 29 Minutes Ago

Steeeeeeeeeeevie gerrrrrraardddddd

add comment | complain about this comment
comment by superstuartfleetwood (U2955905)

posted 24 Minutes Ago

Terrible news, now when I attempt to murder someone I can expect to be in jail for about 3 years.

add comment | complain about this comment
comment by LeeCarsleysFridge (U13099046)

posted 5 Minutes Ago

Yet another thing for the filth... I mean community of Liverpool to hug each other about.

comment by Bugar Di Fino (U1940417)

posted 1 Hour Ago

Have they put the claim in for compensation yet?

comment by Those were the days my friends. (U14085277)

posted 23 Minutes Ago

Check me cars still got four wheels...me cars gone !

add comment | complain about this comment

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm sure there's worse out there. Why? What does it achieve, what is the point?

In my eyes, other than making you look like a grade A, ignorant, bigoted, ill-educated c***, it achieves nothing.

Anyway, good luck Michael.

ROBBIE FOWLER: TOXTETH TERROR TURNS IT ON IN TOWNSVILLE

ROB'S A GOOD 'UN: Fowler celebrates after scoring a penalty against Sydney FC.

Photo by Ian Hitchcock/Getty Images AsiaPac

IT'S GOOD to see 'God' hasn't lost his heavenly touch in front of goal.

There was many a sneer when Robbie Fowler headed Down Under to sign for the ridiculously named North Queensland Fury after he was released by Blackburn.

The mockers have tended to focus on the fact that Fowler, 34, will trouser a reported £900,000 over his two years in Townsville.

But when you consider the Liverpool legend, who scored 183 goals in 369 games in his two stints at Anfield, was worth around £30million before he headed for Oz, those critcisms don't really add up - it's a bit of a trek after all.

The Fury, in case you don't know, are one of two brand-new teams in the Aussie A-League and they are tipped to struggle.

And, so far, the tipsters have been proved right. Winless Fury are bottom of the ten-team league having played five, drawn two and lost three.

But that hasn't stopped the Toxteth Terror - Fury's captain - from finding the net.

The number nine (of course) got his third goal for Fury at the weekend, his first from open play in front of the home fans at the Dairy Farmers Stadium (seriously!).

Nice finish though against Brisbane Roar, so much so that Fox Sports's Andy Harper provided proof - if needed - that commentators talking shit is a worldwide phenemenon.

"Class, all class," Harper said of the goal. "Ecclesiastical class."

That's easy for him to say, but it is a decent strike:


And his goal away to Adelaide United at the end of August was none too shabby either...



Fowler opened his account with a coolly taken penalty (fast forward to 3mins, 5secs) at the start of August in a 3-2 defeat to Sydney:



It hasn't all been plain sailing though. The Fury were hammered 5-0 in the middle of August, and God decided it was time to dish out some revenge for taking the piss:



You can take the lad out of Toxteth...

Useful link: North Queensland Fury homepage

LIVERPOOL FC: DIFFERENT RESULT, SAME OLD PROBLEMS?

IT'S not often Liverpool and Everton fans are thinking the same thing – but that was the case at the weekend.

After deflating starts to the season, both sets of supporters will have looked at their fixtures – home to Wigan for them and away to Bolton for us – and thought "we've just got to win".

Sometimes results are more important than performances - this was one of those times.

Thankfully, Liverpool got the result.

And the added bonuses - another good performance from Glen Johnson, a decent return to the side for Albert Riera and quality finishes from Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres - were just the icing on the cake.

Now we can all take in some air during the international break and hope our boys come through their games unscathed.

After Bolton, like any game, the whys and wherefores were discussed and discussed until sane fans beg for mercy or lock themselves in a dark room - whichever comes first.

And the same old criticisms of Liverpool were wheeled out like an overweight former referee on Sky Sports.

Hackneyed 'observations' are about as entertaining as an ex-official with a crap tan enjoying his five minutes of fame – and when it comes to Liverpool there's plenty: zonal marking, over-reliance on Steven Gerrard, two-man team, missing Xabi Alonso....Zzzzzzz

Why this is trotted out over and over, I don't know. Who benefits from it? Who nods knowingly and silently thanks the reporter for this 'wisdom'?

Not me, anyway.

One group of people notable by their absence right now are the people who questioned Rafa Benitez's signing of Johnson - stand up Tony Cascarino, Paul Merson and the rest.

In case you missed it, Merson said: "The Premier League is not blessed with 15 world-class left wingers so I don't see how a right-back can affect a game that much...I just don't think you should be spending that amount of money on somebody who plays at right back."

And Cascarino added: "For me, they paid a hell of a lot of money for a right back who was unconvincing the last time he played for a big club."

Well it's a bit early in the season for humble pie but I'm sure there's a hefty slice sat in their respective fridges now, a bit of cream on it, cling film over the top and a shiny spoon next to it, ready to eat.

If Merson hasn't seen a right back affect a game he should watch Johnson. Speed, skill and a hell of a shot have already brought the England man two goals and two assists.

So pretty convincing at a big club so far, eh Tony?

And just to ram home the point there's further excellent statistical analysis of Johnson's contribution on Paul Tomkins' blog (don't pack it in mate!).

So not too many people complaining about the £17m fee now for the former Portsmouth defender. Meanwhile, 30-odd miles away, what about Antonio Valencia?

Pricier at £18m, signed as an attacking player and what's he delivered?

One assist.

I know who I would rather have in the side yet are people questioning Alex Ferguson signing the former Wigan man? Not that I've seen.

Finally, a further observation from the Bolton game regarding Gary Megson.

The Wanderers boss decided the reason they lost was "Liverpool chucking themselves all over the pitch".

Granted Lucas kicked up a fuss when Sean Davis (normally such a sportsman) clipped him so yes, maybe his red card was harsh.

But people in glasshouses and all that...Match of the Day highlighted Bolton's Jlloyd Samuel playing the ball out for a throw before waiting for Dirk Kuyt's challenge to arrive, falling to the floor and claiming a free kick - so not far shy from what Megson claimed Lucas did really.

Of course, Megson will haul Samuel into his office this week and give him a warning for this cardinal sin, won't he?

Maybe not, he's probably too busy dreaming up some new excuses for Bolton's next defeat.