NEW ALONSO ADIDAS AD

THINK YOU CAN RUN LIVERPOOL FOOTBALL CLUB?

WELL get off Championship Manager (aka Alan Shearer) and start giving your CV a polish.

Yes, the search to replace Rick Parry is on. Specialist recruitment agency Odgers Berndston is in charge of finding the right candidate who will be offered a "significant package".

So what exactly are they looking for I hear you cry? Ability to recognise the need to tie down key players to a contract? Experience of dreaming up a fair ticketing system? You wish.

No, to work for a club that is in "a unique position to leverage its brand and expand its commercial opportunities nationally and internationally" you will need:

• World-class sales and marketing skills
• Successful management of global media/pr
• A bad haircut and a wardrobe full of dodgy ties...(made that one up obviously)
  
• And a love of the game would be "advantageous"

Get scribbling, the closing date is June 8th. For the full details click here

THIS SUMMER, LIVERPOOL WILL SIGN...

GLEN Johnson, Stewart Downing, Gareth Barry, Carlos Tevez, David Silva, Ezequiel Lavezzi (new Maradona), Kevin Gameiro, Brede Hangeland, Luc Castaignos, Kakha Kaladze, Danijel Pranji, Juan Arango, Yoann Gourcuff (new Zidane), Javi Martinez, Diego Forlan, Jesus Fernandez...

Yep, silly season is here folks and there's still one game to go. The 16 names above are the latest attempts to second-guess Rafa's transfer targets and have appeared in UK media in the last WEEK!

Can't imagine what it's going to be like once there's no footie to fill the sports pages...

Truth is, Liverpool have bid for no-one as yet, according to my "source".

FORGET FERGIE AND REINFORCE THE REDS

WHEN Sammy Lee turned out for an interview with the media a couple of weeks back instead of Rafa Benitez, I was glad.

Glad that the boss and the club had decided to call time on the pointless game of insult tennis with Alex Ferguson.

By sending out Sammy, who spoke well and performed the necessary duties before returning to the bowels of Anfield, it left Fergie floundering.

He had nothing to bat back. Now he'd have to sit down and dream up another gesture or such like.

Or so I thought.

But off we go again. Stirred up by the media of course, who are squeezing every last column inch out of this 'feud'.

Like most Liverpool fans, I think Ferguson isn't being portrayed in the right light.

After all, he's the one seeing things no-one else could see (apart from 'Big Sam'). He's the one going about the 4-1 defeat to us at Old Trafford on the day United won the league.

He's the one sticking his oar in about Steven Gerrard winning the Football Writers' award (it should have been Vidic, apparently).

And he's the one admitting that his motivating factor for all these years has to been to beat Liverpool and that next year, if they win their 19th title, that will be the sweetest.

And yet, it's Rafa who is the bad guy for not congratulating Ferguson for winning the league!

Well, why should he, you might say - and I can understand why you would say that. But he should of.

He should of, because he should have known where it was going. Bite your tongue, be the big man and say 'well done'.

Then, like when Sammy gave the press conference, Fergie and his merry men of the media are left, racquets poised, for the return that never comes back over the net.

Now, Rafa has got to put the shutters up. Straight bat the questions about Fergie, about Manchester United, in fact about anything not to do with Liverpool FC.

Because this summer, he's got some work on his hands. It's a big opportunity.

Forget about what everyone else will do, what they will spend and who they will buy - let's sort out OUR business.

Rewind to last year - Rafa got it wrong, frittering over £30million as Robbie Keane, Andrea Dossena, Philip Deggen, David N'Gog and Albert Riera wiped their feet on the Anfield welcome mat.

Only Bert is guaranteed to still have coat hook come August.

This summer, we need quality not quantity. It's time to forget bacon face, and bring home the er, bacon.

So sign some quality, boost the bench, get another matchwinner and blank out you know who - it's what most Reds are doing right now anyway...

NO SHAME IN SECOND NOW WE'VE GOT A THIRST FOR FIRST

THE FALL GUY: Reina buzzes off Di Michele after his comedy dive

SO, barring a miracle, we're going to finish second – and first is first and second is nowhere, right?

Well so goes the traditional Anfield mantra. But that would be a harsh assessment of a season in which real progress has been made.

We're the hardest team to beat in the league and to be top of the table in May, albeit for 24 hours, is something to be celebrate – although not too loudly.

Just look at how far behind the leaders we have finished in recent years – in 2005 the gap was 37 points; in 2007 it was 21. Last year it was 11.

But perhaps even more encouraging than the statistical progress is the shift in the way the team is playing.

We're stamping our authority on games, going out there with belief, and flying at teams from the first whistle and forcing them into submission.

Ever since Real Madrid and Manchester United were so convincingly swept aside, it's like the team has been let off a leash – apart from Mascherano of course, he always looks like he's been let off a leash!

Newcastle and West Ham were the latest to be overwhelmed by the red tide – the Hammers so much so that the game almost turned into a practice session as our boys strolled around with cigars in their mouths. And without player of the season Xabi Alonso.

Winning without key players is a good habit which the Reds have developed – the 3-0 win over West Ham was only the 12th time Torres and Gerrard have started together and there's been 16 goals from that pairing in those dozen games.

But while everyone focuses on the fact that we probably would have won more games if they had both been fit, what about the fact that we won so many without them?

Sixteen players have scored this season. That shows the strength of the squad and I hope that is reflected in the summer transfer policy.

We don't need a revolution, we don't need gambles on has-beens or wannabes – we need proven quality. Not necessarily by the bucket-load either - we're talking two, maybe three players.

But ideally we are talking two, maybe three £30million players. So that's over to you, you pair of Texan two-hats.

Gareth Barry looks highly likely to be one of the summer recruits but that shouldn't be at the expense of Alonso – at the club or in the team.

Barry would be a good addition because of his versatility but hopefully he will be employed on the left flank rather than in a central role. For me, there's no topping that Alonso-Mascherano partnership.

Who else, who knows? But I'm just hoping Rafa doesn't do a Houllier. Remember the last time we finished second in 2002?

Out went Nicolas Anelka and Ged blew £20m as in came Bruno Cheyrou, Salif Diao and El Hadji Diouf.

But I don't think Benitez will lose it so spectacularly. As he's proved, when he's given the big money he gets it right most of the time.

So for now, well it's time to put up the shutters, turn the telly off, cancel the papers, take the fuse out of the radio plug and slam shut your laptop.

Because you know that when the inevitable happens (which unfortunately can be this week) and bacon face's bunch win the league you're in for a media avalanche of arse-licking of unprecedented levels.

And if that porky Blue nose says "Tikkabowson" one more time...