He tells it straight every Monday, say the Daily Mirror. Yeah - straight from his arse.
For the third week running the former-Bradford striker has had a pop at Liverpool in his column – and this time they didn't even play a game!
Doesn't stop Stan though, he's on a mission now, the bit's between his teeth, it's him v Liverpool and he's going to win.
One thing that's consistent about his column is its inconsistency. This week Liverpool's two-man team has gone up to three:
There are only three title-worthy players in the side in the form of Steven Gerrard, Fernando Torres and Pepe Reina
And yet just LAST WEEK Liverpool were a two-man team. What next week – up to four or back down to two? Place your bets ladies and gentlemen.
And the most laughable part of his latest dose of drivel? That'll be the following line:
Now my spies at my old club are telling me that the next most influential player, Javier Mascherano, is unhappy and may well be looking for pastures new come the summer or even sooner if the price is right.
Crap rumours always have the word spies in them. But your spies, Stan? Who might they be then? Bearing in mind how many people Wallymore annoyed during his spell at Anfield – by refusing to move to a house in Liverpool, refusing to train, refusing to play for the reserves and so on – I don't mind betting he doesn't have too many friends on the inside of Liverpool FC.
And add to the mix that he left the club 12 years ago – so there's likely to be very few people still at Anfield from Collymore's playing days.
Sniff, sniff, what's that? Bullshit...or Stan Collymore's breath? You know what? I can't tell the difference.
Do us all a favour, Wallymore, aim your poison pen bollocks at another club.
Oh, and if you are going to have another pop next week, try and dream up something original. The "Mascherano's off again" tale has been on the internet all weekend.
RECOMMENDED READS (The Well Red guide to beating the bullshit). And yes, I do say so myself.
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