CHECK OUT THIS LITTLE RIB TICKLER!

JUST when you thought it was safe to open your laptop...

It seemed the most-unlikely-summer-transfer-story award had already been wrapped up by The Express when they printed the back-page gem that Fernando Torres was joining Manchester United.

But now we have it: Franck Ribery is on his way to Anfield.

A glance at the image above will give you a tip (ahem) to the source of this nonsense...bookies, SkyBet, to be precise.

The very same SkyBet that, according to its spokesman, took a big hit on Michael Owen joining Manchester United, with betting on that particular scenario starting out at 20-1.

Far be it from me to cast aspersions on the good ole' honest profession of bookmaking, but perhaps this story could help them win some money back?

I mean, Liverpool fans would of course love to see Ribery sign, particularly after the scar-faced wing man was so publicly courted by United.

And what better icing on the cake than winning a few quid at the same time?

Me, I'll keep my money in my wallet and my shotgun handy.

And when Ribery signs, I'll throw open the front door and shoot some of the flying pigs out of the sky. After all, you can't beat a bacon butty.

Seriously though, any Red must see through this one - particurlarly after a similar furore over betting being supsended on Rafa Benitez getting sacked earlier this year.

And yet there was Rafa giving a press conference yesterday - five months later. And, ironically, he was talking about how the transfer market is "crazy".

Everything about this Ribery link is also crazy.

Bayern Munich say they want £69million for Ribery - money we clearly haven't got.

So either Rafa's given the nod for Xabi Alonso to head for Real Madrid AND for Javier Mascherano to pack his bags for Barcelona - or it's a huge pack of lies.

I know what my money's on.

SCAR TREKKING: But Ribery's destination is still unknown.