BRIDGING THE GAP...

THERE was no punching the air, gritting the teeth or swearing under the breath. No wild title predictions or talk of winning a 'cup final' (take note Alvaro Arbeloa).
That's because for Jamie Carragher, winning at Chelsea is exactly what Liverpool should be doing.
Don't get me wrong, the 1-0 win, which ended Chelsea's magnificent 86-game unbeaten record at Stamford Bridge, was a good win - a great win, even.
And, of course, there are lots and lots of plus points to take from the game.
The positive attitude, the coolness, the calmness, the number of chances carved out and the passages of fluid, passing play.
Add to that the performances of Carragher, Daniel Agger, Steven Gerrard, Javier Mascherano, Xabi Alonso and Albert Riera - and, importantly, the fact that this wasn't a Houllier-esque 'bus parked in front of the goal' performance.
As I say, plenty to be positive about - and I haven't even mentioned that we're unbeaten and top of the league.
Or that we didn't have Fernando Torres.
But all that aside, it's important not to get carried away. And with Carragher around, there's not much chance of that.
You can tell he's a manager in the making. Because while Gerrard clenched his fist and muttered 'Yes' through gritted teeth as he marched off the pitch, Carragher wiped the sweat from his brow, took Nicolas Anelka out of his pocket, and swigged a bottle of water.
All he needed to do then was look at the camera, shrug his shoulders and say 'Yeah, and what like?'
But he didn't need to. His body language did it for him. To Carragher, it's three points. It's nice, but it's three points. And now it's on to Portsmouth at Anfield on Wednesday. Where, let's be honest, anything less than a win would be a major disappointment.
Typically, Rafa Benitez was in the Carra camp, too. 'Does it change anything?' he was asked.
'No,' he replied. 'One game at a time'.
Couldn't agree more - bring on Pompey!


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THE PREMIER LEAGUE’S CRAPPEST MANAGERS

JUANDE RAMOS's job looks as safe as a Joey Barton tackle after he led Spurs to their worst start to a season EVER!

But is he really the CRAPPEST manager the Premier League has ever seen? Well, I think not – but here are ten contenders for that title…

MIKE WALKER – Norwich and Everton

Who? Guided Norwich to the UEFA Cup but survived just 10 MONTHS at Everton after taking over in 1994. Kept the Blues up with a dramatic last-day win against Wimbledon. The Blues trailed 2-0 and looked doomed but miraculously bounced back to win 3-2. Walker kicked off the following season with a 12-game winless run. Won just SIX games out of 35 at Everton…nice.
Why was he crap? Terrible transfer dealings at Goodison. Bought Brett Angel, Vinny Samways and Daniel Amokachi. Sold Tony Cottee and Peter Beagrie.
Where is he now? Retired, living in Cyprus. Last job was managing Apoel Nicosia in 2001.
CRAP RATING: FIVE TURDS OUT OF FIVE

GRAEME SOUNESS – Liverpool, Southampton, Blackburn, Newcastle

Who? Oh come on.
Why was he crap? No-one liked him. Scrapped the Liverpool boot-room, gave an ill-advised interview to The Sun and sold Kop hero Peter Beardsley…to Everton…and bought Paul Stewart. In 18 seasons before Souey took over at Liverpool, the Reds finished outside the top two in the top division ONCE. In his first full season in charge they finished sixth. Quit after crashing in the FA Cup to Bristol Rovers. At Southampton he signed Ali Dia – supposedly a tip from George Weah. It was a hoax – Dia came on as a sub – was crap – was subbed and never played again. At Blackburn his flop signings included Vratislav Gresko, Lorenzo Amoruso and Corrado Grabbi. At Newcastle expensive signings such as Jean-Alain Boumsong (£8m) and Albert Luque (£10m) flopped.
Where is he now? Doing TV work for Sky and RTE.
CRAP RATING: FOUR TURDS OUT OF FIVE

ALAIN PERRIN – Portsmouth
Who? That’s what the Portsmouth fans said. Had a decent record in France but the appointment of ‘Reggie’ was decidedly random.
Why was he crap? To sum up his time at Portsmouth: eight months, 21 games – FOUR WINS…any more questions? Ripped apart Harry Redknapp’s side and made nine foreign signings – three who couldn’t speak any English. Oh, and invented his own formation up: 3-3-3-1. Er….
Where is he now? On the dole – he left Lyon in June. To be fair, he won the league and French Cup there.
CRAP RATING: FIVE TURDS OUT OF FIVE

CHRISTIAN GROSS - Tottenham Hotspur

Who? Enjoyed success with Swiss side Grasshoppers but was unknown in England.
Why was he crap? Thirty games in charge, won 10, drawn 8 and lost 12 – doesn’t sound too bad does it? But the writing was on the wall from his first game in charge at White Hart Lane – a 6-1 thumping by Chelsea. He didn’t help himself at the press conference to announce his arrival either. Arriving late, he held a tube ticket aloft: “I want this to become my ticket to dreams,” he said. “I came by underground because I wanted to know the way the fans feel coming to Spurs. I want to show that I am one of them.” Oh dear.
Where is he now? Returned to Switzerland and has enjoyed success at Basel where he's won four Swiss titles, four Swiss cups and masterminded European defeats of Liverpool, Celtic, Deportivo and Juventus.
CRAP RATING: THREE TURDS OUT OF FIVE

LES REED – Charlton

Who? Leswyn Reed (honestly!) had spells at Charlton and the FA. He returned to Charlton as Iain Dowie’s assistant and was promoted to manager when Dowie was axed.
Why was he crap? Managed just one win. Charlton were also knocked out of the Carling Cup by League Two Wycombe while he was in charge. Dubbed ‘Santa Clueless’ after his response to that result was to give his players a festive party and Christmas Day off. He was axed on Christmas Eve. His 41 DAYS in charge is the shortest Premier League reign ever.
Where is he now? Was director of football at Fulham but was shipped out at the end of last season.
CRAP RATING: FIVE TURDS OUT OF FIVE

EGIL OLSEN - Wimbledon

Who? Welly-wearing oddball Norwegian long ball merchant who took charge of the Dons in 1999.
Why was he crap? Aside from bad footwear, he set a new club record of eight successive defeats and won just seven league games out of 36. Claimed to have a ‘scientific’ approach to football – this basically meant hoof it to a big man and chase. Looked like Austin Powers and fell out with his players. Signed Trond Anderson and Andreas Lund. Who? Exactly.
Where is he now? Who knows? He was last seen managing Iraq – but was sacked in February after he refused to travel to Kurdistan to train the team.

CRAP RATING: FOUR TURDS OUT OF FIVE

STEVE WIGLEY - Southampton
Who? Behind the scenes guy thrown into the limelight when Gordon Strachan left Saints. One hack mistakenly referred to him as ‘Steve Wrigley’ - a nickname that stuck.
Why was he crap? Caretaker role lasted TWO GAMES before Paul Sturrock – another crap manager contender – was brought in. Sturrock flopped and Wigley was put in charge full time. He got the chop after 14 games after Southampton managed just ONE victory in that spell.
Where is he now? Went back to coaching kids at Saints before moving to Man City and working with England Under-21s. Now coach at Bolton.
CRAP RATING: THREE TURDS OUT OF FIVE

SAMMY LEE – Bolton







Who? Successful backroom man with Liverpool and England and No.2 to Sam Allardyce at Bolton. Little Sam was given his chance to shine in the boss role following Big Sam’s shock resignation from the Trotters.
Why was he crap? One win in 11 matches tells its own story. Axed Gary Speed and skipper Kevin Nolan from a crucial clash with Chelsea – letting them know his decision just 90 minutes before kick off. Crowd favourite Ivan Campo was also bizarrely frozen out. Left by “mutual consent” with Bolton second bottom of the Premier League.
Where is he now? Back in his favoured No.2 role as assistant to Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez.
CRAP RATING: THREE TURDS OUT OF FIVE

MICK McCARTHY – Sunderland
Who? Tough-talking Irishman appointed at the Stadium of Light in 2003 after managing Millwall and the Republic of Ireland.
Why was he crap? McCarthy avoided the blame for the Black Cats’ relegation in 2003 as Howard Wilkinson’s disastrous run of six successive defeats had already doomed the Wearsiders. But he lost all nine games in the Premiership before failing in the play-offs the following season. Guided Sunderland back to the Prem as champions the year after but again struggled with the big boys. He was axed with 10 games to go – leaving Sunderland 16 POINTS from safety and with a record of two wins from 28 games. Also knocked out of the FA Cup by League One side Brentford and ended with a record of 31 defeats in 37 games in the Premiership.
Where is he now? Manager of Championship side Wolves.
CRAP RATING: FIVE TURDS OUT OF FIVE

CHRIS HUTCHINS – Bradford and Wigan

Who? Twice assistant to Paul Jewell and twice promoted to manager when Jewell fancied a change.
Why was he crap? Two spells as a Premier League manager, neither time did he see it out of November. Lasted less than five months at Bradford after winning ONE of 12 Premiership games. The Bantams were relegated that season and two of Hutchings’ expensive signings - Italian striker Benito Carbone and ex-Liverpool man Stan Collymore - were blamed by fans for the club’s financial woe. Axed at Wigan after six defeats in a row sent them tumbling into the relegation zone.
Where is he now? Wait for it…he’s assistant to Paul Jewell – this time at Derby County.

CRAP RATING: FOUR TURDS OUT OF FIVE

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The Texans - a true rant...

IT'S been a while - and it's all been good.
So I fear I may struggle - I think I'm at my best when ranting. But what's there to rant about?
Wins over Manchester United and Everton in the bag without barely breaking sweat.
Two Champions League wins under our belts. Fernando Torres looking sharp and Robbie Keane finally, and deservedly, off the mark. Even Dirk Kuyt is playing well...
So what's there to rant about?
Well, I tell you what there is to rant about - the Yanks.
The odd couple are spoiling my season. Ordinarily, I wouldn't have missed a game. But, after finding out I didn't have a season ticket for the first time in 10 campaigns, I shrugged and thought, I'll just buy tickets again.
But, since I last bought tickets, fan cards have been introduced. You need one to have a hope in hell of getting a ticket.
I haven't got a fancard because I took over other people's season tickets. No fancard - next to no chance of a ticket.
And whereas you could pick up this much maligned bit of plastic for a few quid last season, this season you can't.
No - thanks to the Yanks, you now to have pay £30 for an 'Official Liverpool FC Membership'. That's 30 notes for the CHANCE of getting a ticket. And - 'coming soon - the chance to joing the season ticket waiting list'.
Well, I've been on that since 1995 so what am I paying for?
So, I'm refusing. I'm not coughing up. It's my mini protest. Why should I line the pockets of George Gillett and Tom Hicks? Why should I give them another 30 notes towards the debt they created in the first place?
So now I'm (not very successfully so far) on the scrounge for tickets.
I did, however, blag one for the Manchester United game and joined in the Spirt of Shankly march to the ground, protesting against Gillett and Hicks.
It was well attended and well organised. But what was remarkable was the people who just watched. Or clapped.
Why didn't they join in? Is there really a Liverpool FC fan out there who endorses what Gillett and Hicks are doing?
These people had managed to get up early enough to shove ale, curry and chips down their grid before a early kick off.
So why not live a bit longer by ditching the heart attack breakfast and showing the Yanks you care?
One thing's for sure - they don't. The sheer cheek of everything they have done never ceases to amaze - you really couldn't make it up.
This pair of Texans (don't laugh) ride into town, promise silverware, a new stadium and no debt.
And I quote from the inital announcement in February 2007: "We have purchased the club with no debt on the club," said Gillett.
"They have made clear their intention to move as quickly as practicable on the financing and construction of our proposed new stadium at Stanley Park and also to support investment in the playing squad," said Rick Parry.
The pair took it further, promising the now infamous "spade in the ground within 60 days".
Now the club is an estimated £365 million in debt; there's no sign of a stadium and the owners continually undermine Rafa Benitez's efforts in the transfer market.
Then there's:

• Hicks admitting they spoke to Jurgen Klinsmann about replacing Rafa Benitez
• Hicks sitting by the fire with a LFC mug and calling Rick Parry 'a disaster' - days after the anniversary of Hillsborough.
• The non-signing of Gareth Barry saga.

Need I go on? Now I know things are going well ON the pitch, but let's not forget the problems OFF it. Unfortunately it seems some people have.
If you're feeling suitably ashamed by now - good. Now join the supporters' union: www.spiritofshankly.com
And the next time there's a march - ditch the chippy and join in. Some of you out there need the exercise...